Jim: The Blog

2006 Asshole of the Year

2006-03-19T17:09:00.000-05:00

This is usually a December thing. We wait all year, we watch a collection of assholes pass before us and then on a cold dark night the week before Christmas we declare one person to be the biggest asshole of the year.

But not for 2006.

You see, in 2006 we have the asshole of the year already sewn up in March. This person as been focused. In a mere seven days he went from mildly annoying and ignorable to:

2006 ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR!

His name is Jim Nantz. He's a broadcaster for CBS. Let's take a look at the week that turned him from jock sniffing loser to:

2006 ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR!

Let us go back to last Sunday, March 12th, aka Selection Sunday. The seeds come out and for the first time in history the Missouri Valley Conference has 4 teams selected to the tournament. The tiny Colonial Athletic Conference gets 2 teams into the "big dance" (most reasonable people could see the case made for three CAA teams).

Anyway, Nantz and his gnome like partner Billy Packer are apoplectic. HOW DARE THEY!? How could the tournament include teams from these inferior conferences when Florida State and Michigan proved all year that they are clearly mediocre when compared to the top teams in the league. How could these untested "little schools" be given a chance? They haven't proven their mediocrity against the big boys and shouldn't even get the chance!

And they weren't content just to voice their opinions. Oh hell no! They had to be cocksucking bastards about it. Nantz and Packer pulled out a wealth of worthless information to back their opinion. The ACC's Florida State should be in the tournament, he argued, because the ACC's Duke, North Carolina and Georgia Tech have all made the final four recently. That was it.

Does this, so far, make Jim Nantz asshole of the year? No, not even in the running yet. But then Nantz takes his first step, the step that transforms him from misguided idiot to front runner for:

2006 ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR!

Nantz gets a chance to discuss the selections with Committee Chairman Craig Littlepage. He shows Littlepage no respect, throws out tons of useless facts similar to the one cited above. And then, as Littlepage is about to give the usual "Congrats and good luck to all the teams" Nantz cuts him off and continues to rant like a petulant 2 year old.

For the record of the 32 at large bids for the tournament 24 of them went to the major conferences that Nantz feels were slighted. His behavior put him in the running but did not yet close the voting on:

2006 ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR!

Fast forward to today. The last day of the first weekend of the tournament. The Missouri Valley Conference has two teams- Wichita State and Bradley- in the Sweet 16. That's right, each of those teams beat two big conference schools to advance to the next weekend. Meanwhile, the tiny CAA has just celebrated George Mason's victory over North Carolina. The CAA has a team playing in the second weekend. An at-large, undeserving team if we are to believe our reporters from last week. By the way, part of Florida States' "resume" was that they lost close to UNC. That's right, undeserving George Mason did something Florida State could not.

I watched the GM/UNC game. Mason played tough D and didn't fluke a win on a last second buzzer beater, they won. They can clearly play with the best of the ACC. After the game we head to a game called by Jim Nantz and Billy Packer. It is here were Jim Nantz clinches:

2006 ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR!

The brackets are shown. The winner of this game plays Washington. The winner of that game faces the winner of Wichita State/George Mason for a trip to the final four. That's right. One of those teams is guaranteed a shot at the final four next weekend. One of those teams, that really didn't even deserve to be there gets a shot at the final four. Nantz see's the bracket and comments that George Mason was a team that "some people" thought shouldn't be in the field.

Some people?

Some?

Nantz says some as if he wasn't the epicenter of the whining? Hello! Jim? Please, just admit that you're fucking wrong. If you would just say "Hey, George Mason, Wichita State, Bradley...you guys played well, you proved me wrong. Congrats!" Then you wouldn't be:

2006 ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR!

But no, you blame all the controversy on "some people". I suppose at the end of the year you'll feel bad because "some people" treated Craig Littlepage like an ass on national TV? Some people?!!?! Like who?

Quick poll. Everybody raise your hand if watch the tournament to watch fat cat big schools win all their games...okay....nobody. Now, who watches the tournament to see little schools get a shot at the big schools and maybe, just maybe, win on that last second prayer? Okay....everybody in the fucking world.

So, everybody in the fucking world is out as "some people". That leaves...hmmmm....maybe, do we have any video tape of people bitching about the CAA and and MVC getting the number of bids they did? Oh yes we do. It just happens to be Billy Packer and

2006 ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR!

Jim Nantz! Please accept my invitation to go fuck yourself.

*Note- the only reason Billy Packer doesn't get his award is because he kept his mouth shut. If says anything about "some people" or makes any additional comments he is right there with Nantz. Of course, Packer is such an asshole that he knows an Asshole of the Year moment when he sees it and kept is mouth shut.

The First Lesson of Comedy

2006-02-01T07:40:00.000-05:00

The first lesson of comedy.

Nothing is funnier than a monkey fucking a turnip.

Chuckle. Yes, that is funny, even on the most elementary level of:

a) noun (monkey)
b) verb (fucking)
c) noun (turnip)

Why is this funny on the surface? Let's break it down:

A monkey fucking....well that's just funny. Even if it is just another monkey..

But a turnip. A turnip doesn't even have a vagina. And thus comedy is born.

Let's scratch below the surface. Let us, for the sake of this comedy lesson, delve into the deeper reaches of the comedy.

First off, the monkey fucking the turnip will have to spend an inordinate amount of time figuring out 'how?'. A turnip doesn't have a place to fuck, so the monkey will have to figure out where to fuck it.

Each person, as they hear "a monkey fucking a turnip" will envision what is happening. And everything they envision will be funny. As a comic you have lead your audience down the road to laughter.

If they picture the monkey just ramming his monkey bone through the turnip, or they picture him chewing a hole for which to fuck....they will be thinking of something funny. It is their thought that is funny, but you planted that comedy seed. Therefore; points to you.

Second, it is a known fact that nothing stings like turnip juice in the old pecker hole. It is also know that no animal overreacts to the sting of turnip juice in the pecker hole like a monkey. And again, you've merely planted the seed. In the each audience member's mind that monkey is tossing a turnip across the room, scratching the area around his hole furiously, trying to dissipate the stinging pain. It is what the audience imagines that makes it laugh, but you planted the seed. You are funny.

Most audience members will even add to their own funny by imagining an epilogue to the story. Perhaps the monkey shoots a big monkey load all over the turnip, or the monkey is, in turn, fucked my a larger turnip. Or maybe that turnip is coated in monkey juices and served to Aunt Gladys in an Irish Stew. Either way, the audience is making itself laugh, buy you are getting credit for planting the seed.

And therein lies the real lesson.

PLANT THE SEED.

And plant a seed that can grow. Inside jokes and obscure references maybe be funny for you and your idiot friends, but by planting a viable seed everybody will enjoy themselves.

Following this lesson brings you one step closer to Comedy God; i.e. Me.

Much Love

Jim

Well Whoop-De-Damn-Doo

2006-01-27T10:59:00.000-05:00

Grey skies are gonna clear up....

Hey everybody! Guess what!

The Devil Rays are going to change their name!

Yay!!

The franchises problems are over!

See, new ownership wants to get rid of the negative connotation that comes with "devil".

Earth to new ownership.

The 'devil' in Devil Rays is the least of your concerns.

The problem is your team sucks.

See, the Devil Rays spent their formative years collecting 5 tool players.

What's that?

A five tool player is a term that old timey guys use to describe players they like.

Most of the time they suck.

Why? Because instead of drafting guys who get on base a lot you've drafted a guy with a "big arm".

And big arms don't mean shit.

Unless you're bowling.

Anyway...the point.

The point is, it is a lot easier to change the name than to get rid of all those tools. Quicker too. So let's give Tampa Bay some help.

Drop me your best ideas and we'll mail them off to the city of Tampa.

Here are some off the top of my head.

Tampa Bay Nine

Tampa Bay Professional Baseball Squad; Brought to you by Cialis

Tampa Bay 23 Skidoo

North Florida Yoga Instructors

Montreal Expos

So there ya go, a good start if I do say so myself.

Scoring Assault Continues

2006-01-24T17:07:00.000-05:00

Yo, NBA!

Does anybody here know how to play defense?

Sunday night, the K-Dogg, the Ko to the B, goes for 81 against the Raptors.

As gay radio host Jim Rome would say: howsickisthat?

But then last night.

You have got to be kidding me.

Jamaal Tinsley scores four points.

I'll let that sink in.

Four points.

In only 28 minutes

On only 11 shots.

No threes.

No free throws.

Howsickisthat?

To quote googled eyed retard Stewart Scott: Dogg had madd flava to his game.

I have no idea what that means.

But Jamaal only had 3 turnovers.

More points that turnovers.

Sick indeed.

How sick?

David Harrison, Josh Smith, Jackson Vroman, Brandon Bass, Orien Greene and Brian Scalabrene combined for 2 points last night....in 73 minutes.

Dog outscored SIX NBA players in nearly a third less minutes.

Do tell Mr. Rome....how sick is that?

Hello? Anybody There?

2006-01-23T10:45:00.000-05:00

You have got to be kidding me.

Kobe Bryant scored 81 points last night.

81! For those of you who don't know, that is one more than 80.

What is going on the Raptors huddle as the game goes on.

End of half, Raptors up, Kobe has 26.

"Okay guys, good work. Let Kobe get his and we'll still win. He can't beat us by himself!"

Chuckles and High Fives All around.

Middle of third Quarter.

"Hey, who is guarding Kobe?"

End of third Quarter.

"Seriously, who is guarding Kobe?"

Every time out during the fourth quarter?

"If you get a chance, could one of you guard Kobe?"

And so on and so forth.

But here is the big part, here is the amazing thing.

I can't even hate on Kobe for this.

Seriously. Nobody hates like I hate, and I can't hate on Kobe this morning.

I took a peek at the standings. The Lakers are only 1.5 games ahead of NOOCH and Minnesota, in a three team battle for 2 playoff spots.

And still, I can't hate.

Who can hate this, what kind of sick bastard doesn't see this and enjoy it?

Shaq?

Maybe.

81 points....I've never done that in video hoops with one player.

I've never done it in Strat, going to the Mailman every chance I could.

I topped out at 55.

C'mon.

81 points.

That's got to be the most ever!

Yo Jim, Wilt once scored 100!

Yea, yea yea.

Wilt scored a hundred.

But that happened in Hershey, PA.

And you know my old philosophy- if it happened in Hershey, it never happened.

So, for today only, all you haters stop your hatin'.

All hail King Kobe.

Modern Athletes Suck!

2006-01-09T08:05:00.000-05:00

Jim is on vacation this week. In his place we will be running columns from other luminaries in the sporting universe. Today's piece is from Sports Illustrated's resident grumpy old man, Frank Deford.

I can't stress enough how much modern athletes suck. Why, just the other day, I was watching a sporting event, it really doesn't matter what, and I just have to say, the athletes really sucked. Where is my nurse? I think I pooped on myself and need my Depends changed.

So did you catch this "football" game yesterday? I put football in those little flying hashmark thingies because calling what I watched football is an insult to all the gridiron greats of yesteryear. Why the chumps we watched yesterday weren't fit to toss the oblong sphere with Red Grange in practice.

Look at this guy, Carson Palmade. He "got hurt" and had to leave "the" game. With torn ligaments? What are those? Why I was covering the Packers before the first Super Bowl and let me tell you, those were men. The night before the game Vince Lombardi beat Bart Starr to death with a ham sandwich after Starr had complimented the coach on his new tie. Apparently that was a little too faggy for Lombardi.

The point being Starr was dead. But he still managed to play the game the next day and was named MVP. That is football. These modern athletes stink, like the decaying excrement seeping out my butthole as I type.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yea, these guys sucked. Like back in the old days, I used to watch Clifton Wells play basketball at the old Armory for a nickel, that's right five cents. And he just didn't 'play' basketball, he performed the art of basketball. Beautiful set shots, crisp chest passes. I remember the best year I saw him, he average 5 points game- nearly 75% of his team's total! Let's see Scot Pollard do that. And not only did he fill it up, he also went up and got it out. That's right, after every score he'd climb a ladder and get the ball out of the peach basket. Modern athletes like Jason Kidd are probably too 'busy' to pitch in with little things like that. He's more concerned with dazzling the fans with behind the back passes and fast break points. I don't know what they call that, but it ain't basketball.

Man, I'm really starting to stink, I sure hope somebody comes by soon to change my adult diapers.

Don't even get me started on baseball. A few years ago, Barry Bonds hit 73 homers. Let me repeat that SEVENTY THREE HOMERS! Is this what baseball has come to-scoring runs? Back when I was a kid I went to a double header between the New York Sportsman's Baseball Club of New York and a group of local Negroes. It took a week to complete the two 1-0 masterpieces. Both games, all 276 innings, were played with the same baseball. The ball had the shape and feel of a rotten tomato by the time Chester Rothstein of New York came all the way around on a four base error in the bottom of the 140th inning to complete the sweep. A finer time has never been had at a ballgame.

I should also mention that Grady Jackson, who pitched complete games in both ends of the double header for the Negroes, played the last 100 innings of game 2 with a broken fibula that had actually broken the skin. Now you have pussies like Eric Lindros missing games with "concussions", modern quackery at work for the modern carpetbagger/athlete.

Sweet Jesus, I hope a nurse shows up here soon, I fear I'm developing a sever rash from sitting in my own feces.

Of course, football, baseball and basketball pale in comparison to the farce that is modern Boxing. The Sweet Science indeed. Today you have to pay upwards of $75 to see title fights on TV. And you're damn relieved if the match ends with a clear decision. Today's sport is so over run with ghetto criminals, mafia bosses, cannibals, homosexuals and communists that the fix is most likely in before Jim Lampley's toupee settles in for the nights. Back when I was a cub reporter for the Stetson County Picayune I had the extreme pleasure of covering a real boxing title fight. Gentleman Jim Fauntleroy took on Gentleman Jim Cook for the world's title (only one of them back then kids). The fight went 150 rounds, which were 5 minutes long back then, and was ended when Gentleman Jim Cook died after a vicious blow to the head. It was the 50th such blow he had taken, and, as others struggled to keep his weeping widow from the corpse, I noticed his head had the shape and feel of a rotten tomato. It was also Fauntleroy's last match as he suffered severe brain damage, living out his days in a rest home under the delusion that he was a princess of an imaginary kingdom in the clouds. Now that was boxing!

Dammit! It appears that I've been wallowing in my own fetid waste for too long and excrement is starting to seep through my protective garment. Well, at least I've got another paycheck coming for my brilliant insight into the sports world.

It's Bowl Time

2006-01-05T07:46:00.000-05:00

Word up peeps. It that time of the year, the best time of the year.

NFL Bowl Time.

Being the gracious blogger that I am, I'll give you my picks. Get your bets in early.

TBS Bowl
Dallas 9-7 vs San Diego 9-7: All those Bowl system naysayers should remember the TBS Bowl next time they clamor for a playoff system. The NFL isn't about declaring a champion. It's about the pageantry, splendor and spectacle of games like the TBS Bowl. I like the Chargers although Dallas could be motivated for what might be the last game for "The Tuna". A last game, mind you, that wouldn't be possible without the bowl system.

Chef Boyardee Freedom Bowl
Atlanta 8-8 vs Minnesota 9-7: Awesome, Awesome matchup. Again, playoff proponents, why would you be against this? Another chance to see the electrifying Mike Vick! Against the Minnesota Vikings to boot, as if Vick himself wasn't spectacle enough. Vick and the Falcons win a game that goes to 11 on the pageantry scale.

North Dakota Bowl
Seattle 13-3 vs Miami 9-7: Let the flood of mail begin. But before you send me anything let me reiterate I don't make the BCS rules! Look the NFC West champion does not get an automatic bid to the Championship Series. That sucks. I agree. But the NFL has made provisions for NFC West teams to earn their way into the championship. It is not their fault you lost your defacto playoff games in the regular season.

Miami by two touchdowns.

Larry Flint Presents: Barely Legal.com Bowl
Washington 10-6 vs Kansas City 10-6: The Granddaddy of them all, the overwhelming spectacle that is the Larry Flint Presents: Barely Legal.com Bowl. Joe Gibbs, true grit, passion and appreciation of pageantry vs Dick Vermeil, in his final game as coach. In the end the Redskins defense overcomes any sentiment on the Kansas City side. Washington, in a rout.

Mid-State Office Supply Snapdragon Bowl:
Chicago 11-5 vs Tampa Bay 11-5: Smashmouth football at its best. There is no love or pageantry lost in this contest. This is going to be a huge treat for the fans- when Tampa Bay takes on Chicago, the only loser is the team with less points.

And that will be Chicago.

Meaning I'm picking Tampa Bay.

And now, the big games, the games we've been waiting our entire lives to watch. The Bowl Championship games.

Henderson's Pork Cracklins Bowl brought to you by Citi
New York Giants 11-5 vs Carolina 11-5: Not the greatest of the Championship matchups, but this one will be special for one very big reason, Chris Berman. This is the last game he will ever broadcast and America will sorely miss his witty nicknames. So Chris, give us one last Eli "Hey Mr. Tally" Manning for the road.

As for my pick, who cares!? Chris Berman!

The Frito Lay Trump Bowl
Jackonsville 12-4 vs Pittsburgh 11-5: There is nothing more pageantental than Donald Trump singing the national anthem, introducing the players, flipping the coin and then kicking off to open up the bowl game that bears his name. Pittsburgh wins big in the last game for Jerome Bettis (thank you Bowl System!)

The Technotron Office Systems Nashville City Council Bowl to Promote Tourism in Nashville
Cincinnati 11-5 vs Denver 13-3: Again, Denver fans, do not write me to complain about not being in the title game. It is not my call. And remember- defacto playoff. Sit back, enjoy the pageantry and watch your team win by two touchdowns.

If "your team" is Cincinnati.

Capitol One/Citi Bank Classic brought to you by Cialis Lombardi Bowl
Indianapolis 14-2 vs New England 10-6: New England is a dynasty. All the pageantry in the world won't help the Colts beat the Patriots. In a recent Jim: The Blog poll the Patriots were named the greatest anything of all time. Along the way they defeated:

'92 Dallas Cowboys
Lombardi Era Packers
'27 Yankees
Joe Frasier, George Foreman, Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali
Truman
Nazis
Iron Chef Bobby Flay (Turkey Battle)
Satan

They also won American Idol, The Spelling Bee, Miss America and the Trojan War.

They beat the Colts on a Vanderjagt field goal.

Bet on it.

The Rose Bowl: The Pick You've Been Waiting For

2006-01-04T08:57:00.000-05:00

Okay peeps, its the moment.

The moment you've all been waiting for.

The pick.

Who will win the National Title tonight in the Rose Bowl.

Ever since I picked the Patriots to beat the Rams and Ohio State to beat Miami, you've all come to me for my expert opinion.

And this year?

Its Texas.

And it ain't even close.

But Jim, you wonder, why?

To which I say, 'Shut up'. Who are you to question me?

In fairness, here are my main reasons:

Vince Young- Vince is gonna go apeshit on USC tonight. Werd to that bitches. He might put on the single greatest performance of the ESPN era....and you know how important that is.

Texas' Defense. These guys kick ass. Like that linebacker dude, or that cover guy or that guy who sacks the quarterback. I might not know all their names, sure, but they are good. Even my mom knows that. In fact, she wrote that sentence about the linebacker dude.

The 'third consecutive championship' myth. USC is not going for their third consecutive championship. They're going for their second. Two years ago LSU won the NCAA Championship in football. USC was voted number one by the writer's poll. And what to writers know? Hell, Woody Paige is a writer.

And lastly USC will lose because of the St. Louis Rams, Miami Hurricanes and Oklahomo Sooners. The last three teams that were touted as the greatest dynasties every before they came crashing to earth when, you know, they actually had to win the game. In the future, let us all make a pact- No declaring a team the greatest of all time until they've at least clinched the title of greatest of this season.

ESPN wasted a week "matching up" USC vs the greatest teams of all time. When Texas wins tonight do they automatically become the greatest team of all time or will the nation have to vote in ESPN polls to truly determine their greatness?

Well that's all for now.

Happy New Year and all that.

Marquette!

What?

Marquette BITCHES!

Why Didn't Teams Do What I Would Have Done In Hindsight?

2005-12-19T13:30:00.000-05:00

I envy you.

Yes, you.

My readers.

That is not a misprint. You see I envy the way you can all just live your lives in simple ignorant bliss. You're not like me. You are not all knowing. When you see somebody make a mistake you can say things like "Oh well, mistakes happen." But when I see a mistake I look with the knowledge of what should have been done, because I always know the right move.

Example?

I guess, if my word isn't good enough.

Feb 10th, 1992.

The Atlanta Falcons trade future Hall of Famer Brett Favre to the Green Bay Packers for a first round pick.

Why?

Why would you trade a future Hall of Famer? A quarterback no less! The Falcons, in my opinion, should've kept Favre. I'm just saying, look at the record and then tell me what should have been done.

Winter 1991.

The New York Mets sign Bobby Bonilla to a free agent contract.

Why?

Sure, Bonilla had 406 rbi in the four years previous, but after he signed with the Mets he flat out sucked! And the next winter Barry Bonds becomes a free agent and the Mets passed on him! What is up with that? He has over 700 career home runs!

Why would you not sign him when he was a free agent?

It is what I would have done.

Need more?

Okay hot shot, what do you do?

You're the GM of the Arizona Cardinals.

You need a quarterback. Hell, you need everything. A QB is on the board who is going to win 3 Super Bowls in 4 seasons (and counting). Do you take him? Well hotshot, do you?

If you are me ...

(and you are not)

...you grab Tom Brady in the first round, sit back and collect rings.

If you're the Cardinals.....well you pass on Brady six times.

But, that's why the Cardinals are the Cardinals.

Nov 4th, 2001

World Series.

Game 7.

Dbacks v Yankees.

Up 2-1 Joe Torre brings in Mariano Rivera to save the game. Unbelievable. Rivera BLEW THE GAME! Why bring Rivera in to blow the game when a perfectly rested Sterling Hitchcock is ready to go?

The same Sterling Hitchcock who was 2-0 in that Series with a 0.00 ERA.

Wait.

Let me check.

Yup.

That's the best ERA you can have.

Torre, what a joke.

Whatever.

I'm out.

Manning Just Reinforces Stereotypes

2005-12-15T11:59:00.000-05:00

Hey Peyton!
Yo- PDogg, I'm talking to you!
Hey, Eli's Older Brother- I got something to say.
For a whole lotta years we've been hearing about what a great quarterback you are. Nobody lights up the scoreboard like Peyton, nobody reads defenses like Peyton, nobody audibles at the line like Peyton.

And therein lies the problem.

Your whole game just reinforces the stereotype of the 'cerebral' white quarterback. Sure, you're good, the critics say, but if he wasn't so adept at reading defenses and changing plays where would he be?

And your critics are right.

History lesson.

The year is 1995. A plucky Colts team makes it to the conference championship game. They step into the Belly of the Beast- Three Rivers Stadium- to face an indominable wrecking crew known as the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The Colts QB that day?

He didn't read defenses.

He didn't call audibles like it was taking out the trash.

He didn't light up the scoreboard.

He played with guts, he played with heart and....

He was white

Let that sink in for a bit Peyton.

A white quarterback. Jim Harbaugh. He was more concerned with winning than with merely showing off how smart he was. He threw 129 touchdowns in his 15 year career. You can do that in 3 years if you want. Big Deal.

It doesn't matter.

You see Jim Harbaugh didn't care about keeping up the stereotype of the white QB, he played with his legs and instinct as much as his brain. And he had the Colts a Hail Mary from the Super Bowl.

A Hail Mary in your last several Championship Game performances would have just taken 7 points off the blowout.

You just don't get it.

You'd rather look over the defense, see what they are thinking and change the play accordingly. You want to be considered great? Put that whiteness behind you. Stop holding the Harbaugh's of the world back by playing to those stereotypes. Next time you see a blitz coming and you want to change the play....

Stop.

Lean over and tell the center to let the rush come. And then run, like the wind, take a brutal hit from a linebacker and bounce back up. Stop being so white.

I'm reminded of another quarterback who has put his whiteness aside for the good of the team. His name is Tom Brady, perhaps you've heard of him? He's won three of the last four Super Bowls.

Without and ounce of white "smarts".

He plays with guts and moxie and athleticism.

I'm sure you'd have heard of him.

If you weren't so busy being white.

Welcome to Jim: The Blog

2005-11-30T09:18:00.000-05:00

Why is the world so messed up? What is wrong with my life? Why are you hitting me? What are you doing in my basement?

These are just a few of the questions people ask me every day. And to be honest, you people are coming off like a bunch of whiners. The positive? You've come to me for help, the help you desperately need.

And that's what Jim: The Blog is all about. Providing help to the people who need it.

Some of you may know me from my work with The Bent Theatre Company. You know I'm hilarious, insightful and hilarious.

Some of you may know me from my best selling self-help book Quit Your Whining And Live! You know I'm hateful, brutal, honest, apathetic and too busy living life to the max to give a rat's ass about what anybody thinks.

Hopefully, this blog can be all of those things to all people. A hilariously apathetic, brutally insightful, honest rat's ass, all while living life to the max.

Jim